It never feels good
It never feels ok
And it hurts
it breaks me up inside
and yet
it brings with it the clarity that only revelations of rock bottom reveal.
Shows me who I really am
not what I have been trying to be
it shows that those who we thought were most troubled, are sometimes those with the most dignity
those that seem to have it together, and never mess up
have it all wrong
fall apart more desperately than most
and crumble into a million pieces
and if anyone cared
they would see a scared little girl
hungering for love
desperate for the most intimate of feelings
trust
and yet totally untrustworthy
broken and ruined
this is what love does to us
it builds us up
and tears us down,
tears a strong woman down into a little girl
a little girl who just wants to run away
away from this life of pain
of unending responsibility
of unrelenting tragedy that befalls my tender heart.
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